And Now For Something Completely Different! 

 

If anything can go wrong, it will

• Corollary: It can
• Corollary: It should
• MacGillicuddy’s Corollary: At the most inopportune time
• Extension: it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it

 If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

• Extreme version: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrong

 If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway

 If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop

• Corollary: It will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the others

 Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

 Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

• Corollary: The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.

 Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.

The Murphy Philosophy:  Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Quantization Revision of Murphy’s Laws:  Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy’s Constant:  Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Murphy’s Laws of Research

• Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
• Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.

Addition to Murphy’s Laws:  In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right … something is wrong.

 

More Laws

• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
• Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
  • Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
• Nothing is as easy as it looks.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Everything takes longer than it takes.
• If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
• Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
• Every solution breeds new problems.
• The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
• You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
• The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

 

More Laws of Selective Gravitation.

• A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
• A shatterproof object will always fall on the only surface hard enough to crack or break it.
• A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).
• A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) - unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).
• If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.
• A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) - or into the garbage disposal while it is running.
• If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.
• If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.
• The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.
• You will always find something in the last place you look.
• If your looking for more than one thing, you’ll find the most important one last.
• It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt.
• After you bought a replacement for something you’ve lost and searched for everywhere, you’ll find the original. 
• Erma Bombeck:  “Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet. "

 

Relativistic correction of Murphy’s law:   Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.

• Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute): Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.

 

McFalls’ Maxim:  No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts.

• Translation: You may come to terms with being screwed, but nevertheless you’re still screwed.

 

Murphy’s Metalaw:  Knowing Murphy’s Law will never help.

 

Occult Principle of Murphism:  To know Murphy’s Law is to draw its attention.

 

Buddha’s Version of Murphy’s Law:  Decay is inherent in all things, strive unceasingly.

 

Murphologist’s Curse:  Given time one can develop a sense of how Murphy’s Law will act, but the Murphy Sense will tingle only after it is too late to keep the excreta from impacting the rotating blade based wind generator.

 

Another name for Murphy’s law: The law of conservation of misery

 

Carvalheiro’s deduction:  If in a particular circumstance Murphy’s law don’t apply, then something must be wrong

 

A law about websites:  The more important it is to get to a website, the greater the chance the server is down.

 

And REMEMBER:   Murphy was an OPTIMIST.